Most of us, at one time or another, will find ourselves wondering if we should stay in our relationship or if we should end it.  This is one of life’s most difficult decisions and one that you don’t want to take lightly.  The only thing worse than ending a relationship without giving it the time and attention it needs is staying in a relationship too long.  Finding the best ways of evaluating your relationship with your partner can be done on your own or with the help of a therapist, if you decide to do it on your own there are some guidelines that can help.

1. Many people don’t want to admit it but the fact of the matter is there is some sort of power distribution in all relationships.  A good sign that your relationship is strong is if the balance of power is fairly even.  Are both you and your partner in the relationship of their own free will? That means that one of you isn’t staying just because they don’t have enough money to leave, for example.

2. Do you have any fear of your partner?  In a good relationship fear of your partner shouldn’t be a factor at all.  It’s not ok to be even a little bit afraid, that is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship.

3.  If you could be with anyone in the whole world, is this the person you’d choose to be with?

4. Does your partner engage in dangerous activities, either physically dangerous or financially dangerous?  These behaviors will create an enormous amount of stress for you which isn’t the basis for a healthy relationship.

5. Does your partner support you and your life goals?  Support isn’t just about the money, if you are trying to get a degree does your partner help with the house work, kids, or make dinner sometimes so that you can study?  If not, they aren’t really supportive no matter what their words may say.

These are just a few of the things you need to keep in mind when you are evaluating your relationship with your partner.  There are no right or wrong answers but it’s important that you be honest when you answer these questions, if you feel the need to lie than you already have your answer.