Archive for May, 2010

Help me get my girlfriend back you say? Read on. With all the relationship advice out there available it can be hard to know which way to turn. The truth is most of this advice is just plain wrong and can even be dangerous. I am no expert, but I have been in a lot of relationships and spent a large amount of time looking and learning the best techniques on how to get your ex back. I have boiled it all down to a simple 5 step plan so that you will not only become a better person but in the future your relationship can be a healthy one.

Here is how I define what I mean by an unhealthy relationship. Any relationship where abuse is present is unhealthy. This can be a sexual, emotional, verbal, or even physical abuse. It is all abusive. This means a wife who constantly berates her husband about his weight or his cooking is abusive. I say again, it is all abusive.

Whenever there is an uneven distribution of power in your relationship or one person stays because they have no where else to go (or at least they don’t think they have another place to go), is unhealthy. These are the situations that you should stay away from.

Here are the steps you need to take to have a healthy relationship with your ex:

1. I know this is tough but you have to figure out and face your major character flaws. Yes, It is much easier to see the flaws in your spouse, but you need to confront your own. In order to have a healthy relationship, you have to face your own issues. A relationship can only be as strong as the people involved. If you have some major flaws, so will your relationship. Take the time to improve yourself and become a better man and this will spill out into all areas of your life.

2. See your exes flaw as well as your own. Take her off of that pedestal. While you can’t use your ex girlfriend’s flaws as a way of avoiding your own, you can use this them to see what you both need to do to improve your relationship.

3. When you are working on these changes, you have to give your ex plenty of space. once you have made progress, in a few months time, You can talk to her about going to step 4.

4. Game plan time. You and your ex have to work on putting a plan together. This is going to take some time and you both have to be willing to work on developing this new healthy relationship.

5. As you move on in your life, you have to remember to keep going with these positive changes. All of us should never stop growing and trying to make ourselves better. And don’t worry if this seem like a ton of work, it doesn’t have to be work, it could be something as easy as learning a new skill or taking on a new hobby.

You say Help me get my girlfriend back and I listened, now you have to heed this advice. If you don’t work it, it won’t work.

Click Here To learn More on how to get your girlfriend back.

What Can I Do To Get My Boyfriend Back

Are you feeling like everything you do pushes your ex away further? Is this describing your situation to a tee? Are you asking “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back” at every turn? Here are some tips that will greatly improve your chances of getting back together with your ex boyfriend.

Obviously right now you are serious about saving or rekindling your relationship, which is what led you to this article in the first place. But if you are feeling overly anxious to get your ex back, you may be behaving in the wrong way, causing your ex to pull away naturally. It is human nature in general to resist this kind of pressure. Struggling against human nature is completely pointless, and it will only make matters worse.

Are you calling your ex too much, constantly writing him e-mails or text messaging him? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing these things, stop! If you are asking yourself ” What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”, then you need to stop doing these things right now.

So What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back? Follow this strategy instead.

You are going to need to take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking contact off for a while, doing your own thing. During this time where there is no communication between you and your ex boyfriend, you can focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life, rather than focusing on the relationship issues at hand. This is going to be a challenging time, and it is going to require discipline to prevent you from returning to your old ways.

During this time, your ex is going to experience a shift in how he feels about you, since you will no longer be pursuing him. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are doing or feeling. This is actually something that can work in your favor. Now your ex is in a position to actually miss you, which is not possible when you are smothering him.

You must remember that the key to this strategy and repairing a break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to work against it. If you are wondering ” What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”, now you should have a fairly basic understanding on how common mistakes can be avoided. Once you implement this basic strategy you can restore a balance and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place.

Just keep yourself grounded and avoid smothering him. Make yourself appear mysterious and he will be reminded why he loved you in the first place. Play hard to get (don’t over do it) and let him make the first move, and you will come out on top. Click Here to find out  “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back”

How Do I Get Back At My Ex

If you are wondering how do I get back at my ex? The best advice I can give you is: don’t bother. I know you are hurt and angry and more than likely you have good cause to be, but if you spend all your time plotting the best way to get back at your ex, you aren’t really living your life and that will just be one more way they have caused you pain.

There is a saying: ‘Living well is the best revenge’. That is a good motto to live by. As long as you spend all your time wallowing in your hurt and pain, your ex is still ‘winning’. If, on the other hand, you spend your time living your life to the fullest you will move on much more quickly and with much less baggage which will make it a lot easier to find the person who really does deserve you and will treat you right.

If you want some great, healthy, ways to get back at your ex, read on:

1. Get hot. Go to the gym, get your hair done, get some new clothes, take some time for yourself. This is great because it will make them start to wonder if they are missing out on something and since it’s a positive thing for you to do anyway, you will also win. You can get back at your ex without wallowing in the gutter and going down a negative road.

2. Be happy. What is it that you love to do that you didn’t do when you were with your ex? In most relationships there are things that we give up because our partner isn’t interested in them. Those are the things you need to start doing again. Word will get back to your ex about all the fun you’re having and they will see a happy, vibrant, fun loving person and again they will feel like they are missing out on something special. At first these things might not bring you a lot of happiness since you are still grieving over your lost relationship, but before you know it your grief will diminish and you’ll start to relish these activities again, just like you used to.

3. Challenge yourself. Find a new hobby, take a class, get a new job. This is yet another way that you can make positive changes in your life that will also make your ex realize that they were a jackass to let you go.

When it comes to getting revenge on your ex many people will advise that you go out and find another lover to make your ex jealous but this is bad advice. Why? Simple, as long as you are concentrating on your ex, even if it is just to make them mad, you aren’t moving on and they are still controlling you. Another thing to consider is the new person in our life. If you use them just to get back at your ex, aren’t you being just as big of a jerk to them as your ex was to you? Is that really the type of person you want to be?

It’s much better to live your life to the fullest,- Don’t wonder – how do I get back at my ex?? Let go of the past, and don’t worry about what your ex will think. You will be happy and that’s all that matters ( and after all, you can’t help it if they just happen to hear how great you look and how wonderful you’re doing now that you’re single!)

When your boyfriend wants to take a break it usually means one of two things (though he will probably deny it if you ask him) he either has found someone else he’s interested in but wants to keep you in reserve just in case she isn’t interested, or, he really just wants to end the relationship but thinks it will be easier saying it’s just a break.

Either way, your relationship is in big trouble.  There are many ways you can handle this situation depending on what you want,  you have to ask yourself a few questions:  Do you want to stay in the relationship, or are you willing to let things go and see how they all work out?

Either way your overall strategy will be the same -  let him go.  I know this may sound odd but if your boyfriend is hot for someone else, you’ll only be pushing him further away if you cling to him.  You will force his hand and he will just end the relationship (which, believe it or not, may be a good thing if he’s hot for someone else. You don’t need to be second string).

If he really just wants out but doesn’t have the guts to come right out and say so than the relationship is already over so you might as well move on with your dignity intact.  You’re not going to be able to change his mind and you’ll just make yourself look pathetic if you beg him to stay.

During this time don’t talk to him. Don’t call, text, or email him.  Give him time to figure out what he really wants, and more importantly, give yourself time to figure out what you really want… and need.  You may find, once you get past the shock, that you are OK with this ‘break’ and you may not even mind if the break becomes permanent.  Just give yourself time to find out.

If your boyfriend wants to take a break  than the best thing you can do is say ‘absolutely’. If he’s just playing with you and trying to stroke his own ego or if he’s really ready to leave, either way you’ll stay strong and won’t have a lot of regrets over the way you acted when your relationship ended.  Not having a lot of regrets will make it so much easier to move on to the next stage in your life.

It’s not uncommon for couples to go through cycles where they break up and get back together.  At first, this may seem romantic, like no matter what problems you have the two of you were meant to be together.  After a while though, it just gets old.  If you are sick of the cycle and want to put an end to it, first of all congratulations on becoming an adult who wants an adult relationship, and secondly, here is some advice.

Oftentimes this whole process of fighting and reuniting is just an immature way to spice things up.  Like it or not, some people like the drama.  They like things always on ‘high’.  The problem is that that is no basis for a sound relationship and if you and your partner are at the age where you are thinking about marriage it can become a nightmare.

While it might seem fun, exciting, and maybe even a little sexy to have makeup sex, it isn’t so hot when you have kids, jobs and a mortgage.  Once you’ve become an adult with adult responsibilities this type of behavior will just become exhausting and at some point one or the other of you will have had enough, but before you reach that point you will do a lot of harm to all the people in your life especially your kids.

Instead of that, just ask yourself what you and your partner fight about.  If it’s just simple things than the two of you need to sit down, maybe with a therapist, and talk. Try to find common ground and more adult methods of dealing with your differences.

If the problem is that the two of you simply aren’t compatible or if one or the other of you just enjoys the drama, you should end the relationship and go out and find someone you can have a healthy relationship with.

It is possible to break the toxic cycle of break up and get back together, though the answer may just be to end the relationship and find someone you are more compatible with.  Whatever you decide, just make sure you understand that this pattern isn’t sexy or romantic, it’s immature and unhealthy. Find a better way.